Oops... It's dirty jOkE.. hehe

12 Dirty Jokes

1) Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know?"
Girl replied "Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."

(2) Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."

oh my god.... the Bangladesh pounded his wife in his house on his bed........

(3) After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
Man asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Thai Girl replied: "No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."

@@........he fuck with him or/her or ....

(4) Women's lives are hard. Morning wash clothes. Noon hang clothes.
Evening keep clothes. Nite iron clothes.
Midnight take off clothes. After midnight find clothes.

Serious ?? What abt girl like to buy clothes ??

(5) To make it straight she pulls it. To make it stand she rubs it.
To make it stiff she licks it. To let it in she pushes it. True?
Threading a needle is not easy.

Yes ! It's true.... you got me.... hehehe

(6) Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.

hahaha........ Dirty priest

(7) A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."

Blowjob ?! is it hygience anyway ?

(8) Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl you will get one."
Girl: "But mom what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many!"

It's true ! Nasty gals get many....

(9) A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties."

(10) Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."

Haha.......

(11) Two sperms talking on mobile.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."

Zzzz....... Double deck going in

(12) Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a PENIS.

This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought

HOME SWEET HOME.

Woman has Man in it;


Mrs. has Mr. in it;


Female has Male in it;


She has He in it;


Madam has Adam in it;

No wonder men always want to be inside women!


ANSWER IS

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend
all their Life and time trying to go back between the legs of a
woman...... Why?


BECAUSE HOME SWEET HOME.

CONVERSATION BY LANGUAGE

An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.

Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels

Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!

Consul: Man,...isn ' t it hostile?
Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh...dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

Brilliant BOY

A first-grade teacher, Ms Anna (Age 22 ) was having
trouble with oneof her students.

The teacher asked the boy, "what is your problem?"
The boy answered, "I'm too smart for the
first-grade.My sister is in
the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think
I should be in
the third-grade too!"
Ms Anna had enough. She took the boy to the
Principal's office. While
the boy waited at the reception of the office, the
teacher explained
to the principal what the situation was. The
principal told Ms Anna he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer
any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave and so she agreed.
The boy was brought in and the conditions were
explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Anna and
tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."
Ms Anna says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions, can I
ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Anna asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Anna: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."

Ms Anna: What starts with a C and ends with a T, ishairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut

Ms Anna: What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft and sticky?
The Principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, but the boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Anna: What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The Principal's eyes open
really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Anna: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.

Ms Anna: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up.I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent

Ms Anna: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best
man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit
tense and took one large Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Anna: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose

Ms Anna: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow

Ms Anna: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Anna: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
& if u don't get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork

Ms Anna: What is it that all men have one of it's
longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man
gives it to his wife after they're married
Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Anna: What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to
the teacher,"Send this boy to Stanford University , I got the
last ten questions wrong myself!"*

DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY

DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY

Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?

Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already.

NAMES OF WIVES

One man had 4 wives, so he called his :-

4th wife..... baby doll,
3rd wife ....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll

1st wife..... panadol

HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME

This is how India got its name.....

The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?".

RESEARCH FINDING

Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch.

MEANING OF WIFE AND HUSBAND

W --- wonderful H---- handsome
I ---- item U --- useful
F --- for S ---> smart
E --- entertainment B --- but
A ---> at
N ---> night
D ---> dangerous

THE OLD QUESTION ANSWER ED

CHILD: Dad, where did I come from?

DAD : Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!.. Listen...
Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net. I set up a meeting with your mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Cafe? Then, mom did some downloads from dads memory stick and when dad was ready to upload, we discovered that there was no firewall. Seeing that it was a bit too late to cancel, I just carried on doing the upload. Nine months later, the damn virus appeared!.

CHILD: Huh?